I hooked up with a Michael Jackson impersonator last night. Too soon?
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
woke up with a sweatshirt on that said "someone special calls me grandma" and a sword. i'm just going to assume that it was a good night
I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
My dad just told the waiter to keep the pitchers coming until someone passes out.
you asked the janitor if you could ride his floor cleaner.
Walk-of-shaming home in that dress you got arrested in. Six guys called out your name when I walked past. I've never been more proud of us.
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
In sex ed. they really need to include a lesson on saying tampon in foreign languages, just in case.... Trying to ask the woman at the reception desk, who barely speaks English, for one just turned into an awkward game of charades.
Remember that girl that we found passed out in the dorm study room under a pile of money and jimmy johns wrappers? She's standing right on front of me.
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
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