Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
All i hear is "BITCH BETTER HAVE MY HONEY" and i turn around and there is a dude in a bear costume. It was fur real.
I lied. Can't workout today. Only exercises I'm currently capable of doing are breathing ones to keep last night's drinks ending up all over the classroom.
I just figured out the time exactly by how many shots and beers that I've had since this morning. I either have a terrible problem, or a great solution.
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
Got to work this morning and thought... Did I really dance on that pole last night
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
Randomize
