So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
Call me in 2 minutes and go along with what I say. You're hysterical and I must go comfort you asap. He just asked if I was ready to experience sex with a wizard and he wasnt kidding.
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really.
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
I just dropped a condom on the floor at costco in front of my girlfriend and her husband. Today is not going to go well.
I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery
... why is there baby oil , black socks and frozen hot dogs in the sink this morning ?
Don’t fucking talk to that dude from monday!! Ethical consumption dude, don’t fuck shitty guys
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
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