That's why there are breakfast margaritas.
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
I have come to the conclusion that my perfect boyfriend is a cardboard cutout of Link with a dildo attatched. Also, Merry Christmas.
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
Mom just sent me an email. The subject line is "How to avoid a urinary tract infection"
LET IT GO MOM
So I ate half a jar of mayo because I thought it would cure a hangover. I thought wrong.
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
Ok well my life just seems more exciting by default because I'm dating my married boss and sexting with my ex
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
Also, I'm not that drunk, but I'm thinking of pulling the blinds all the way up and casting some porn up onto the living room TV to establish dominance over our neighbors.
Randomize
