the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
We got so high we made milksteak
Thoughts of banging the girl who just opened my beer with her teeth?
No...this little piggys going to the bar
Hon, I found you crying into a bathrobe in the back of a closet with a broken shoerack.
I told him if he wanted to lose weight he had to learn self control. Less than ten minutes after that I ate a cookie off the floor...
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
I was wearing the shirt my little sister got for her birthday when the condom broke. I finally have it back to her and told her it was bad luck
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
I just found a reminder in my phone to ask you about your sex life in 7 years. So how is that going?
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
Dude, he turned on “London Bridge” by Fergie and GAVE ME A LAP DANCE.
You're lucky I just like fucking you because you would really suck at being a boyfriend.
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