I'm not a real person
I'm sorry, everyone knows that
I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
I thought the cops would know I was on shrooms because I was 10ft tall.
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
When breakfast is a rum &coke at the office Christmas party you know it's gonna be a good day
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
OF COURSE I NEED TO KNOW I MUST KNOW EVERYTHING
YOU ARE NOT OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I AM OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
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