I'm so tired of dating women who lie about their age. You show up feeling like you need to follow them around with a dust pan and a broom.
Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
I wish i was in the wii world.
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
One of my friends found 6 bags of gummy bears on the roof. He lives a building over. Apparently even hammered you still have quite an arm
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
This family outing has commenced with me throwing up in an apple orchard
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
I don't need my coworkers thinking I'm a nutcase.
You gift wrapped a tampon.
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
When they said they were gonna tattoo each other's gamer tags on their asses, I knew I no longer had a boyfriend.
Randomize
