jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
A 14 year old with a teardrop tattoo just tried to sell me weed. I'm in the wrong fucking neighborhood.
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
You went from loaded cattleman, to football player, to better football player, to art major from Missouri. Your future was looking so good for a while.
There are dudes in kilts outside my window practicing fire breathing with cheap vodka and a modified grill lighter. I thought you should know.
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
My morning started with my mom giving me the number for a substance abuse councellor. How's your day going?
My drug dealer bought me a book for Christmas. What a gentleman.
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
He seems like a nice guy. I mean, I know he's married and he's essentially paying me to be his side hoe, but he really seems like a good person.
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
I flashed my boobs, shit my pants, and kissed the wrong twin. I'm on a roll you don't want in on.
Randomize
