dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
It's not my fault I help girls realize they're lesbians.
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
I left a care package of Jack Daniel's, pancake mix and porn in your apartment. Merry fucking Christmas.
I'm driving up the street and can't tell if my ears are actually about to pop or not.
A solid 8.5 on the baked meter, I need to stop.
I just ran into the married chick you banged 2 years ago at our apt! She asked me if I could get her coke! Memories bro. Memories
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
You've thrown off my entire schedule. Usually SATURDAYS are my "try to hide the jizz on my leggings" days
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
If a cop comes up to me I'm whipping out my cock, swinging it around and singing the national anthem
I took a vibrator for a weekend with my parents instead of a boyfriend. I obviously have my life together.
Drunk me also decided it would be funny to change all the passwords on my computer last night. Now I can't log into anything.
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
Randomize
