Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
Have you seen our bachelor? He's MIA. Last seen being led to some hookers by Kanye look-a-like.
His cat kept scratching my feet while we were having sex. There's only room for one pussy around here. It also concerns me that he owns a cat.
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
Randomize
