We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
her cat was choking so she kept trying to stick her finger in her cat's mouth while saying "it's okay kitty, just do what mommy does"
I held a cracker & gaterade down for an hour. I feel like this will be my greatest accomplishment of the day.
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
Do you ever feel like your dog agrees with you? Like REALLY really agrees.
When you're not at your house I assumed you're somewhere having sex
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
Dude I was tripping acid when she was crying and I literally couldn't defend myself
I found your missing hash cookies. Fuck you and I'm sorry but there are only 2 left. I already had the munchies.
Stop recording sex noises and setting them as my ringtones. This time it was at a funeral
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
Randomize
