Dear tim. Christina farted and it smells like kid roses.
is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
Don't bite the hand that gives you multiple orgasms
The man at the Honda dealership told me I smell like vodka and probably shouldn't be driving.
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
I'm sitting at dinner with my family looking over sexts. The thirst is far too real. They're talking about retail and I'm like haha, yes, you are all correct.
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
found a thong and $20 in my right pocket. it's going to be a good day
We're at an agreement where I don't pry and she pretends blissful ignorance
Who's phone is in my pants and why did I wake up clutching a handle of vlad?
Randomize
