yo - did your mom get a boob job (I think she did)
question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
Have u Seen that eharmony commercial where the guy goes " I don't know how I could love her anymore, but tomorrow I will'. Yeah that guy should kill himself
She asked me why there was $2 in the lunchmeat drawer of the fridge and BBQ sauce all over the kitchen... I'm not sure but I know it has something to do with you
wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
There's some random guy here dryhumping my kitchen door. If he is a friend of yours, please come and retrieve him.
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
I'm not sure why, but my salad smells like a Big Mac. Or maybe that's just the smell of yesterday's, seeping through my skin.
stop falling asleep in the bathtub. you are not a movie star, you cannot die that way.
What part of “the stripper has a gun, we need to leave” is confusing you? She’s drunk, she’s fucking crazy and NOW SHE’S PACKING HEAT!
Randomize
