did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
Just saw a woman with a Pomeranian in her bra. Way to step up your game Seattle.
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
As i was walking home this morning some old lady was walking her dog and i said hello to her as our paths in life met, then i proceeded to puke in someones front yard and never looked back
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
I told you alcohol was flammable, but you didn't believe me until you tried to extinguish your sparkler by submerging it in vodka and the bottle burst into flames.
Sorry for trying to baptize you last night
You knew the entire thing in Latin I was so impressed
I walked in on my sister eating my leftover burrito naked. How could my night have gotten any worse?
Donated a pint of blood at 6 and pub crawl started at 7. Thank your lucky stars I'm still alive today.
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