Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
dude can i febreze my hair or is that slutty?
I was just about to go down on her when she gave herself a "smell check" and said "no, not today".
she looked me in the eyes and called me a poet because i was singing lady gaga, then she fell over...
Do you think Tom Brady went home tonight and changed his facebook status to "pink with lace"?
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
You know it was a good weekend when; you leave a bi-lingual letter of apology on top of a stack of cash for hotel housekeeping.
I don't care if there's a party or not. I just want to be half naked in a cape with a never-ending supply of alcohol within arm's length at all times. Make it happen.
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
there's a giant awkward home-wrecking elephant in the room. and its name is meg.
Randomize
