Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
Just woke up wearing a top hat and simpsons boxers. i also found more money in my wallet then what i had before going out, about $1000 more
I am drinking ovaltine with peppermint schnapps. My childhood could have been so much better.
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
Having a pigeon watch you poop is just creepy. Drunk or not.
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
im shotgunning beers in the kitchen. alone. the cat is judging me.
Yes I hit her with my car. Yes I gave her a ride home. And yes she gave me her number. What's the problem?
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
Yep I can make a seagull sound. It's identical. I tried it. They thought I was talking to them. It's pretty cool.
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
I just dropped a condom on the floor at costco in front of my girlfriend and her husband. Today is not going to go well.
I just met a stripper in the light of day who I ate a candy bikini off her body. This is how my weekend is going.
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