Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?
oh no, im for sure still drunk. i wana eat evrything in the fancy feast commercial... everything
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
They're showing aladdin at the bar my birthday is complete
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
A drawer in my room has nothing but a large feather quill, a wine glass, and a 15" Bowie knife. If you could put my life in a drawer I think that would be it.
I found our waiter on grindr, gave him my number, and got him to send a dick pic. Still not getting laid but close enough?
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
Funny you say that, I just sold my stripper pole to my mom tonight...
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
Nxt time we drink that much, we'll have to hide the crayons. Crayola-ing a mural on the living room wall wasnt the brightest idea, but it sure is classy. Right?
Randomize
