if you like me you must not know who I am
don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
the 24 hour champagne diet aint going so well
Worst part of St. Paddy's...me drunkenly crying to a U2 cover band.
She forced me to throw up so it would "rejuvenate" me. It worked and then we took six more shots and did a keg stand. You know what I call that? Friendship.
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
I'm feeding a baby and swiping on tinder...what has my life come to?!?!
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
Thank god for Taco Bell keeping you out of jail
highlight of my day: hitchhiking a ride with random locals. tried to make conversation, asked what they do. driver says "you clearly don't recognize me." turns out i have had sex with him and forgot.
You are officially qualified to graduate from college.
Randomize
