so..some girl walked up to me on the porch last night. She came to apologize for peeing on our lawn a few days ago. I just looked at her and said it was ok, she wasn't the first.
MY DAD AND I ARE ON OUR WAY OUT OF FLORENCE AND I JUST SAW A MAN AT A BUS STOP WITH A GIMP HAND SLAP HIS DAUGHTER ACROSS THE FACE WITH IT.
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
Thanksgiving Shitshow: My grandparents found me passed out on the bathroom floor wearing nothing but a scarf made of toilet paper
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
I touched a dick in church today
wow bdsm is so cute
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
IM HAMMERED AND JUST HAD CHEESECAKE THAT MADE ME FEEL LIKE NO MAN HAS EVER MADE BE FEEL BEFORE.
Seriously considering taking a nap at lunchtime in my car. That. Hung. Over.
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
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