"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
Good god you suck at this wake up call. Seriously. If I can, after consuming enough vodka to subdue a russian soldier, muster up enough motivation to call you in the morning and send you naked pictures the least you could do is pick up.
Googling enemas while I get a pedicure ... My life in one senence
I think I gave a random lady a dildo
Again?!
Woke up, bank account is empty. Sock is still full of blood. Nothing in my pockets but a wireless mic and jenga pieces.
SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE
Randomize
