I'm tuning in to watch Heidi Montag crash and burn on the Miss Universe Pageant. Somebody call 911. and I'm not talking about the Sean Kingston song.
During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
Jordan and I are drunk and barred out at the liquor store sitting in the awesome $70 Corona bench bargaining with the owner for a lower price, all while passing the Belvedere bottle between the two of us. Real life. College has down this.
My goal of the day is to not shit myself. That's it. Setting the bar real low
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
I've already agreed to hook up with 3 people tonight, and its not even 2:00 yet... I think this is what the path to success looks like.
Today's been pretty great, I went and bought the new Batman for the sole purpose of masturbating to Bane
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
Randomize
