It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
I've heard so many rumors about me being taken home in an ambulance I'm starting to believe them.
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
I never appreciated sexting until I went to rehab
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
The picture that pops up when I call her phone is a picture of my nipple. Just so you're forewarned.
you strike me as the kind of person who when they spill something on their lap they take off their pants and eat it anyways. right off the crotch seam.
The cop left me alone after I gave her my spare snow cone. It was a hot and humid day and that uniform looked stuffy. Yay stoner me for overindulging in icy treats.
Got super judged by this lady at the Rolling Stones concert last night. Bitch don't look so salty at my dad and I splitting two joints, an edible, and two margaritas. It's the stones.
We had a One Night Stand 6 months ago but he just Facebook invited me to his wedding. Who the fuck does that.
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
I HAD SEX WITH COLBY AND HIS FIVE YEAR PLAN IS TO STEAL A REALLY EXPENSIVE PAINTING AND ASKED ME IF ID BE INTO HELPING HIM AND I WOKE UP IN HIS BED TO A WOMANS TUBE TOP NEXT TO ME
Optimism doesn't exist before 2pm nor do any other emotions.
it's my fake id's birthday. i'm wearing a hat, and i have a beard. i'm untouchable. TO THE BARS!
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