i just renamed my vag "the sorting hat"
The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
you started crying about dinosaurs being extinct
that's why i woke up holding that dina girls hand
she's a dina-saur
she just uttered the sweetest sentence in the english language...my stripper friends are coming over
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
Just found a partially digested mushroom under my bed. Thanks for that.
Dude you were sitting on a bench on the street with her for 45 minutes thinking you were on the bus
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
Why are there chunks of your hair in everyones pocket?
I decided to mark my territory.
Dude I just came exactly at the crescendo of the Catalina wine mixer duet from step brothers.. Advance to next level.
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
How have you been? I haven’t talked to you since you dyed your pubes.
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
Randomize
