I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
Awkward medical moment of the day: A very obese girl with a disorder that literally makes her hit herself punched herself in the face. Literally. While screaming 'MCDONALDS MONEY'. Right. Beside. Me.
i wish exes would disappear into a world where we never have to deal with them again, and they can just create drama for each other. Then if they wanted to talk to us, they would have to apply to get a "visa" to come back to our world.
Nothing says Christmas like gin and tears.
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
he stopped talking to me after i tried to use his body as a surf board
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
So in hindsight, going through the McDonald's drive thru plastered at 4 a.m. on stolen bikes was a bad idea.
Randomize