he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
Why the fuck is BBQ sauce coming out of my shower head?
the doctor brought back painful memories by lecturing me about your teeth marks that are still on my dick.
He left his umbrella behind in my bed to 'keep me company', then stole my front door key before he went to work
i take my contacts out every time we fuck so i cant see all the stretch marks
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
I know everytime I get my paycheck I'm like "I should probably renew my gym membership" and then I just buy more alcohol
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
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