we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
If im paying 4grand for laser eye surgery, it better help with beer goggles cuz last night was pretty rough.
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
The guy at the Apple store said the warranty does NOT cover getting cum out of the keyboard. I can't believe I believed you.
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
I was late because I helped this old romanian lady mow her lawn at 2AM.
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
I'm standing at the bottom of the driveway w a sign that says plow me
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
at least he now gets to tell people how he once threw a party so epic that the next day they had to clean some girl's body paint off the ceiling
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
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