Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
I probably looked like a mental patient. I had my IV in one hand and cup of pee in the other, swaying around with a dazed grin on my face. I love vicodin.
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
I need to make a new year's resolution to only pee in toilets. And it needs to start happening before the new year.
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
You're 31, how do you still outdrink all these college kids?
Practice, Irish genes, and a lack of desire to live past 40. But mostly practice.
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
The cop asked me why my pants were around my knees when he woke me from the sink, i replied "Officer, my underwear is still on, nothing bad happened" then he nodded in acknowledgement and we carried on with the paper work.
I am the image of restraint, it's why im just hungover and not in the hospital
I was singing Colors of the Wind and swigging vodka and still felt like more of an adult.
Randomize
