Haha, just learned changing others iPhone passcodes is fun while drunk but not fun the next morning.
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
I blacked in at 6:30am on the last stop on the train with a random fedora on? And I'm pretty sure I rode in a limo last night while eating pizza
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
Fairly certain I cracked a rib. Masturbation is not for the weak. I die now.
Everybodys gonna want to make out w me dressed as big bird
Big bird is like some childhood daddy fantasy come true for carnival
I was drunk and on Craigslist.. The drunk-text offers people got must have been either horrifying or glorious
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
Randomize
