I think I just met the technical qualifications for binge drinking in five minutes
I was about to watch some really classy porn. Title was ravenous for dick. I didnt know pornstars knew ravenous was a word.
Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
Woke up on a mattress on a roof this morning with a pair of briefs next to me. Oh fleet week.
Hey. My eyes swollen shut and I can't find my shoes. How was your night?
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
Uhh I just had to break up with a guy who I didn't even know I was dating...
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
if jesus wore shoes made out of pure flavor and hurricane kicked u in the face thats how it feels to eat pizza bites right now
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
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