you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
You know you hit rock bottom when you make out with a guy named after a cereal.
What's the point of being healthy if people still don't want to fuck you?
Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
Imagine cans of beer raining. Like not hitting you and hurting you. Just gently falling into your hand whenever you're sad
Sometimes while peeing I'll go hands free, put my arms up by my chest and make claw hands, and pretend I'm a new type of dinosaur called Dickosaurus Rex.
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
Randomize
