I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
She made me go with her to get a pregnancy test since she's missed a few birth control pills. She made me park in the "expectant mothers" spot at CVS and preceded to ask if it would be in the pest control section.
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
Hey, I didn't ask that stripper to put her unds in my mouth, it was just covered by the plus package fee I ordered.
Do you have any booze?
Well I have 60 feet of bubble wrap and a bottle of wine...but I'm saving that for a special girl...
im not trying to sound dramatic, but im covered in microwavable lasagna
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
Company sent me first class out of state, got so drunk on the plane I started handing out pillows and blankets to the people in coach
DO NOT SLAP ANYONE WITH ANY VEGAN MEAT PATTIES
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.
Even in drag you're still better looking than your sister.
Randomize
