Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
Okay wait let me power puke and then we can go dancing
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
true... I just kept thinking "THAT IS A PENIS. OMG THAT IS A PENIS. DOES HE KNOW IM STARRING? STOP LOOKING. OMG THIS IS AWKWARD. PENISSSSS"
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
My dream of watching a live dick sword fight might never be realized now. Currently sobbing, shots to follow
Is it weird to wish your favorite hooker "happy thanksgiving"?
I'm happy I peed in your laundry basket last night
Do you not realize that being Batman fulfills about 95% of my non-sexual fantasies?
Randomize
