my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
On my arm I have 12 dashes, and below is written "plus 2 pretty stout whiskey drinks, so, you be the judge"
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
My head weighs 7 pounds. i know this because i spent the majority of the night passed out in the bathroom, using the scale as a pillow.
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
In 30 minutes I will have been sober for an entire month. Time for a celebratory lap of cheap alcohol that leads to early liver failure.
But happy liver failure. That's what counts.
Nothing motivates a person to clean their apartment like puking up cheese ravioli beer-tequila chicken wings for eight hours.
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
Something must have happened, they started yelling truffle butter and you said we needed to leave NOW
I believe in your delicious
I put the area codes from ludacris' "area codes" into our expensive data visualization software at work, it's been a productive day
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