just come out here and I will go home with you...
the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
At CVS buying just condoms. The guy behind me is buying just hotdog buns. There was a silent moment of understanding between us.
I just drank til 6am then boned a 32 yr old that looks exactly like ET. Oh god.
So glad I decided to show up and puke in your trashcan.
These are the moments that bond souls forever.
I warned you. Don't come crying to me when your vagina refuses to forgive you for this.
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
he just asked me that if he was a penguin and I was a penguin if I would fuck him
I'm at her wedding and she managed to get every single one night stand I ever had in her wedding party. Why does she hate me?
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
Someone's gotta tell him drunk sex comes before dating
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