I have way too many pictures of poop on my phone
My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
How am I supposed to spread my seed with you "modern women" and your birth control?
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
This is classic penis vs brain.
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
That happens a lot to the people around me. It's like I'm radioactive but instead of cancer, you get desensitized to the word cunt
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
Oh honey. I will not JUST be drunk. I will be spring break drunk. Spectacularly hammered. It will be glorious for all watching and embarrassing for anyone that has to drag me to bed.
The guy in the cage next to me is having phone sex. His girlfriend is in College Library. Why is my life ridiculous.
Randomize
