She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
I'm pretty sure I told everyone in the bar I hadn't had sex in five months. And then I offered everyone calamari.
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
My underwear are in the stairs so apparently I did take the dog out.
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
Listen I'm tryna celebrate your divorce. Sometimes that calls for drinking on the toilet.
Had a slight melanoma scare this morning. Spoiler alert, it was Nutella.
I'm tired, but I'm gonna go with "I watched the debate last night and part of my soul died"
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
Randomize
