its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
I need to get skinnier so that I know when pregnancy scares are real...
Don't worry, your car is safe with me. I am throwing watermelons out of it at mailboxes and hipster kids.
Apparently you missed the drunkest me ever documented. I slept on the hardwood floor and left my pants on the porch to give u a frame of reference.
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
Shaving your bikini line at 11 at night in the Walmart bathroom feels trashy no matter why you're doing it.
I kept having to give myself encouraging advice like, "you know how a path works"
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
Drunk me really needs to stop 1. telling every attractive dude in a relationship that monogamy isn't real 2. Proposing threesomes with them and their girlfriends
YOU ATE THE FUCKING GOLDFISH!?
Don't drink and try to take a shower. I thought I was drowning
Randomize
