I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
Just found my car keys in your throw-up.
I don't make the first move. Ever. Unless were playing monopoly cause that's my shit
Do you know who the random guy who just walked in to kiss me goodnight is?
This is final. The chair stays in the bathroom, we are too old to be puking from the floor, grown ups sit in chairs infront of the toilet to puke.
Or grown ups don't drink themselves into vomiting.
why is my forehead so bruised?
i found you outside knocking on the door with your head because you couldn't lift your arms.
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
I just want to trick people into going on dates with me so they can bring back to their houses and let me use their wifi.
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
Not gonna lie, Wednesday was the perfect day to get laid off, all I've done since is watch the Simpsons marathon
I just want to eat chicken fingers and drink beer and smoke in bed with my laptop so I can watch Netflix
So your not doing THAT great with the break up then...
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