I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
is there anything more depressing than unpacking condoms from your suitcase that you thought you were going to use on vacation?
Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
He was waring a speedo fashioned out of american flag bandanas and when he got hard he said "you're such a patriot...raising the american flag like that"
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
You won’t make it to November. A 21st bday and Halloween in the same night has shitshow/ jail written all over it. So I call dibs on that tall guy
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
Randomize
