Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
I just saw a 3 year old try to break out of a daycare by driving a big wheel at full speed into a metal gate. Today is going to be epic.
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
What would you do if you came home and i was in nothing but the table cloth?
At the ER. Dropped bottle lead to cut foot which led to me drunk hitting on doctors. Not going well.
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
I made a blanket fort and am drinking Gatorade and eating donuts watching 500 days of summer. I can't keep spending my saturdays like this.
I think I collapsed a disk in my spine when I drunkenly lifted that fat girl on my shoulders to chicken fight at the pool.
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
I'm taking myself to the hospital right now b/c there is no way this erection is subsiding in the next 4 hours.
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
Randomize
