so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
The dentist just giggled when he accidentally shot water across my face, I can sense how he treats women.
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
Just went outside to gather hail to use to make margaritas since we ran out of ice. That's God's way of helping us out.
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
I'm moving out of my place and I just gave my mom a couch that I had sex on last night. Reduce, reuse, recycle at its best.
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
Also I'm sorry for asking you to shave my vagina for me last night
She puked off the side of the cruise ship onto a newlyweds balcony table and they watched it all happen then they made her clean it up
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
No one knows how to work that "I pulled a muscle in my leg" drunk swagger like you can
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
Randomize
