the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
my wrists were so small for the handcuffs, i could slip them off and hand the tow truck driver my keys....
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
I have green food coloring in my hair and just got a text from "Guy in the Yard"...so this morning is going just as you might imagine.
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
Someone put pennies in the toilet. This isn't a fucking wishing well
I'm eating cheesecake with my hands completely naked while falling asleep
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
We were getting breakfast he shit himself in the middle of ihop. Mid bite he just yells out o fuck.
Then you guys just all showered together...?
Randomize
