i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
the clerk said it was the first time she had ever seen someone walk in the next day to return the tux still wearing the tux
She looked at it and said "your dick is like the golden gate bridge."
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
There's a mouse. In the house. By the cans. With some pans. Release the cat. To eat his hat. Sorry about the mess. Of my breakfest.
No but seriously, there's a fucking mouse in the house by the beer cans
Found her with a stray dog now called champagne, crying about how she feels a mom now. Had to take her home. The dog too.
He doesn't belong with God. He belongs face-down in a pile of his own excrement, vomit, blood and semen. Then pissed on by Satan.
You passed out with your mouth on the faucet, straddling the keg, with your arms wrapped around it
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
I told him to send me a dick snap for my birthday. To personalize it, he drew a candle coming out of the tip of it so I could blow it out.
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
I was so high I forgot how to swallow food, and I just kept thinking "thank god its just mashed potatoes, they'll go down eventually"
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