just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
You convinced me that eggnog and rum is a great moisturizer.
making my second box of kraft dinner for the day. thinking about telling him how much you cheat on him so that you end up having to spend valentines day with me. i'm sorry its every man for himself.
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
Just rinsed and put my styrofoam cup of noodles in the dishwasher. I need to be not hungover ASAP
The man who lives downstairs is fluent in Russian, and also a playboy. You should meet.
Whenever I'm not in the mood and don't want to go to bed swampy, I just strategically suck him off during the second period intermission of the Cup playoffs and he leaves me alone and does the dishes. It's a win-win.
On a scale from 1 to banned, how offensive do you think it would be to wish my vibrator happy Valentine's Day on various social media outlets?
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
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