I'm at this poker game and this kid to my left is bragging about all the chicks he hits including a "playboy model" when all of a sudden this 22 guy looks him in the eye and says "ever fuck a 70 woman. The things they can and are willing to do" Next think the whole table is quiet for an hour. That guys my hero...
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
The fool I made of myself at the Ugly Christmas Sweater party last night was surpassed this morning when I walk of shamed 6 miles at 7am with one mysterious wet leg and no pants on. I think my mom saw me and waved.
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
He was nothing but deer-caught-in-headlight eyes and dick, it was adorable
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
I'm drunk and kinda wanna go home but now I have to go have more sex, my boxers are in the dryer
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
Randomize
