She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
I just tried to pick my 105-lb puppy up and accidentally fingered its asshole
There are some things we keep to ourselves Brian
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
My own mom unfriended me on Facebook.
She just ended a sentence with "and he doesn't even mind my herpes..."
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
after she pushed someone down the stairs to get more vodka we lost her for a while and found her on the pole in the garage pouring water on herself
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
Speaking of ejaculate, did you get the side of your car cleaned off?
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
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