Omg alex and i were cooking weiners on a campfire and a bear came and i am waayyy too high for this
Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
Mystery solved. Def had ice creme last night. There is a melted half eaten ice creme bar next to the bed. Which had melted onto my pillow. That explains why it was in my hair too. Im a fucking sherlock holmes over here.
PS: I just woke up from my shower
I text him "Dude. Tryna get fucked here. I only have half the parts. I need your help" I'm sure my mom would be super proud of the woman I have become.
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
You could at least care enough to fake an orgasm for me.
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
Randomize
