I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
it felt like the flash was giving me a handjob
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
I would do laundry with you but I vaguely remember swallowing all my quarters last night as some kind of trick.
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
I'm pretty sure getting a blow job behind a bar in Rome while her little sister is throwing up in a dumpster not 5 feet away, gives entirely new meaning to the phrase "When in Rome"
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
"Grocery shopping" is really just a euphemism for spending $20 on enough frozen food to last 2 weeks and spending the rest of your viable paycheck on alcohol.
I asked him if he wanted a pillow, and he replied "No. Batman never had pillows."
Closed my eyes in the shower and got really dizzy. Not sure if neurological or result of 4 day vodka binge. Send help.
Last night I watered my lawn and smoked a joint then cooked a steak. I'm really killing this adulthood thing.
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
Randomize
