Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
That does it. We're drinking til we're pirates.
If you're not going to call the girls I bring around by name, at least don't call them by number. It's been cockblocking since girl #47. Dick.
I need to shower three times. First to be clean, second to wash off all sins, and third will classify as baptism.
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
This is not a drill. I need a cape. And a tuxedo. Simultaneously. Repeat. NOT. A. DRILL....
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
I swear I'm going to walk in one day with you in a ballgag just masturbating feverishly
Well i can't stand the sound of my own crying
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
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