READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
Do you think there's anyone left in this world that hasn't masturbated in a computer chair?
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
Just to give you a heads up, I am going home with your ex-boyfriend.... You can't be mad because he was my ex-boyfriend first
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
I need to find a more grown up way of dealin with a hangover at the office than pringles and mountain dew at 8:30 am...
found a better reason to procrastinate than the usual sunday-don't-give-no-fucks. literally every one of my textbooks is soaked in captain. can't turn a page without gagging.
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
At the ER. John needs stiches. Fuck pub trivia nights.
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
I just shook glitter of my birth control packet so I’d say it’s safe to say it was a good weekend
Dude why is my bed and bedding wrapped in bubble wrap?
Cuz u wanted to insure u had a safe sleep
Randomize
