I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
She kept telling the ambulance to sit down and then started crying when we told her it couldn't hear her
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
Me and tommy were trying to figure out why our printer was jammed, found a condom stuck in the paper slot. #collegeprobs
My moral compass cannot be waived by two measly bloody Mary's
May the power of my ass compel you!!
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
So glad I can hide money in my wallet and drunk me is too stupid to find it. Hangover sushi ftw.
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
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