my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
New term. "Find a husband" fridays. It's like thirsty thursdays, but with a dowry.
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
I would really just like to get laid somewhere that's not on a bathroom floor at this point in my life
I need to start using my boobs for good instead of weed. Although really they're kind of the same thing
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
I'm standing on the corner in a banana costume and cape with frozen bananas in my utility belt reassessing my life decisions.
not ubering you a puppy
He ain't mine yet. Gotta have a third date before I pee on him and mark territory.
Oh. Wait. That happened on the second date.
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
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