I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
Between my vag yelling at me for having bad sex and my legs yelling at me for going to the gym I cant hear myself think.
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
And on that day, Satan said; "Let there be the friend zone and let us get fucking high." while Jesus silently cried in the background.
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
I miss forts and drugs that made me believe in unicorns...
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
So I met one of her cousins last night. She recognized me as "the guy that's always in the liquor store", I may have a problem.
Randomize
