If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
Also so weird my phone cracked after I repeatedly threw it at the ground as hard as possible
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
They cut me off when I tried to pee in the corner of the bar.
I swear to god, I'm like....the Jedi master of dick.
He brought me another shot of rum, ice and my underwear when I woke up.
What a gentleman.
I KNOW, right?!
The blonde cop looked at my license and told me I better have be home when her shift ends
I hate you
Randomize
