If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
I feel like I could be a daytime drinking legend, like they could put that shit on my tombstone and right now your preventing me from reaching my full potential
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
On the way home she put on a necklace with her name on it and wrote my name in sharpie across my chest so that in the morning we could avoid the awkward Idk who the fuck you are conversation. Best. Girl. Ever.
The packers need to win more often, Andrew keeps drunk calling me and confessing his undying love for me in between puking and taking more shots.
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
Chipotle farts are not good for seducing boys.
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
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