We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
Drunk on an escalator. I fell like 15 flights of stairs without actually moving more than 5 feet.
I just bought a vibrating toothbrush with my parents FSA insurance card because I'm too broke for a vibrator. New.Level.Of.Low.
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
Woke up with 3 sports bras for underwear. Valiant effort drunk me.
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
This is the only time in your life where finding a half eaten lime and pair of florescent pink underwear that wasn't yours means that it was a good night
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
He was walking around and kept offering the neighbors flamingo lawn ornaments shots of vodka.
That portable toilet under the bed? Turns out it was a tuba. Explains alot.
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
Randomize
