I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
Take one last look at my face, because I'm drinking it off tonight.
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
My piss changed color midstream. Think that means I have a 50/50 chance of passing the test?
He's drinking red wine in a margarita glass. He couldn't be more perfect for me.
He called me while he was having sex and asked if I wanted to go get mcdonalds
I'm being fed tequila grapes by a girl on stilts...
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
Pretty good. They took the stitches out but it still hurts like a bitch. The doctor says I should be off crutches by next week.
Well, that's good. Let's hope drunk you doesn't sabotage you.
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
Already drunk, almost got in a fight with a bunch of irish chicks. And another with canadians. On my way to get a tattoo. I plan to regret this trip.
I wish he’d realize all I want is dick. He’s my boytoy. He’s a stunt cock. \n\nCome over, fuck me silly, eat some leftovers, fuck me again, then go back to the frat house
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