When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
I remember sitting there at the toilet, bleeding everywhere and thinking, "I walked from my bedroom to here. What happened?"
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
The hypnotist is here. He has a black eye and smells like tequila.
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
You were hitting on girls while wearing the banana suit. When they rejected you you yelled "I gotta split anyway."
I curse you to think about Guy Fieri whenever you have sex with your lady.
My boss is explaining why he thinks time goes by faster and faster. Bc of the rockets. No lie.
I have post one night stand depression
Randomize
