that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
Can we get blazed at 9:06 on sunday and reenact the moment of my birth?
I get to be your mom.
no drinking for a week
if by week you mean tonight and by no you means yes
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
You are not going to get a pat on the back from me for not fucking that 40 year old again.
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
Updates: Made out with a teletubby last night in the middle of the street #lifegoals
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
Do you know who these girls are? They're baking a cake, making chicken enchiladas, and bringing me beer everytime I finish one.
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