There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
he left me a note this morning. it said "thank you for letting me touch you"
She carries a brick in her purse. I wouldn't get in a fight with her
Last night was the first night with all of the roommates, and what started as a calm night of light drinking got out of hand. There's a girl on my couch wearing only a fanny pack.
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
He cannot be your sugar daddy. He looks like a literal hot dog.
...its technically supposed to be for the bridal shower but I think I can find an ensemble that says "im hopped up on x. Stick your tongue down my throat." As well as " im supporting your marriage to my brother"
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
Randomize
