I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
I just woke up with streamers wrapped around me. Glitter in my hair. My fish are swimming in empty bottles of Barcardi. Helpppp
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
please just be careful, i just switched my facebook status to "in a relationship", i would look really pathetic if i had to change it back to "single" already
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
Were betting on little kids falling and racing for a drinking game at the wedding.
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
Just watched a middle age white woman scream WHY DON'T YOU GO FUCK YOURSELF, HELEN?! Helen seemed absolutely scandalized.
I have already been up, showered, had a cup of coffee brought to me, added a little rum to cure the hangover, had sex and kicked him out and it's only 1pm. Successful day so far.
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
Randomize
