I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
Just saw a 300lb woman fall down. Shes screaming like a beached manatee. Her 120lb boyfriend is trying to push her up. It's like watching an infant try to bench
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
Why am I wearing a dog collar
Only way we could keep you from running in to traffic.
Oprah Winfrey is a jealous, vengeful god
You're going to hell! And you're going to hell! And you! And you. You're all going to hell!!!
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
I did not marry a roomba.
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