Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
I will make out with the first guy who tries to pick me up with a lyric from a rap song. I won't even reply, just be on him like whoa.
16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
so i woke up this morning covered in mail. none of it is mine.
I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
Just stole a goat. Bringing it to your house to cock block. Blame the goat not me.
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
I deleted his number so I had to go into my old voicemails which are saved through my gmail and search his name... Never underestimate the resourcefulness of a drunk girl on a mission for dick
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
Banging to Billy Joel pandora is like russian roulette. But I made him cum to Let It Be so I we both walked away victors
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
Woke up went to work ate beef after three year hiatus shat my pants went to bed
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